


Sexgott

by mk94



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Heinz is a sexgod, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Multi, Perryshmirtz - Freeform, Prostitution, but not in the bad way?, human!perry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mk94/pseuds/mk94
Summary: Roger and his friends pranked Heinz into taking service from a prostitute without paying her.They didn't expect the just divorced Heinz to be...Heinz?





	Sexgott

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take it seriously, it was just for fun.  
> I just thought that in the episodes, Heinz clearly has a livelier lovelife than Roger and thus must be more expirienced int the art of 'Love' <3

Roger and his friends giggled when Heinz returned to their table, a bit out of breath and sweaty.

“And? How was the present?” Roger asked innocently.

Heinz hid a smile by taking a sip from his brother’s glass.

“You know, I never though you would be so generous, Roger,” he said with an honest smile,” you were right, that really helped get my thoughts off Charleen for a while. God knows this divorce is hell”

Roger tried not to giggle like his friends.

“And how was she?” one of the guys asked with an evil smirk.

“Who?” Heinz asked back.

Roger and his friends switched confused glances before turning back to his happy smiling brother.

“The prostitute we booked for you”

Heinz gave Roger a look that was meant to discipline the younger Doofenshmirtz,” Roger, this is a professional establishment with wonderful personal here who doesn’t have it easy in their lives and can be happy to have a place here where they get taken care of and are paid better than any other poor person out there. The least you can do is calling them ‘paid companion’. For this is what they are actually doing here, serving you with their presence”

“Calm down, Heinz,” one of the girls in the group groaned annoyed, before smirking,” so, not a she apparently, so what? You banged a guy?”

Everyone but the Doofenshmirtz brothers laugh, for one because Roger new that Heinz never cared for gender and told him so.

“I thought you already had experience in this place?” Heinz repeated with a question yet again.

“Did you actually pay this service for me?” Heinz suddenly snapped, finally making the crowd barking with laughter. Even Roger was laughing now.

Perfect prank. Well, Roger was honest, now Heinz surely will think of something other than the divorce going on. Like paying this expensive place and those expensive 'companions'.

“You are impossible,” Heinz hissed and stood up from his chair when the door he appeared from minutes ago opened. A group of three men and five women exited and went over to the bar, few of them seeing him standing there and smiling excited, waving at him.

“Hey there, handsome!”

Roger and the group stared at those sexiest people alive, all waving and smiling at Heinz who stormed over to them and giving them a lecture.

The group became quiet to hear the conversation.

“It was said that your services were all paid for. But now I heard that no one paid. Why do you lie to me?”

“Heinz please, don’t be mad” a brunette beautiful woman with large earrings pouted.

Another handsome man with teal hair began to hectically moving his hands and Roger was amazed that Heinz simply crossed arms and shook his head.

“That’s absolutely ridicules; my brother told you to tell me that, right? If I was that **‘great’** in bed,” the group widened their eyes at that,” why would my wife leave me? Hmm?

“Because she’s stupid,” another man, cuddled close to another man with tinted glasses on, answered.

The cuddled man also moved his hands for an answer as did that man with the teal hair. The women nodded and agreed with them.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, I can’t go without paying you properly” Heinz sighed loudly.

The group of sexy ‘paid companions’ switched glances and smirked in unison.

“Well,” the four blond women (probably all sisters) said,” we actually have an idea”

Heinz took a step back, holding up his hands,” nope, that doesn’t make sense, I can’t pay for your ‘company’ with more ‘company’. What will your boss say??”

“The boss will be fine if we explain it to her afterwards” The brunette beauty chuckled, hugging carefully his arms to make it still possible for the man to pull away.

“Please, Heinz, just one more round” the talking man whined. The teal haired man pulled at the Doofenshmirtz’s pants and dragged him closer, stealing a heated kiss.

The brunette hugged closer to the arm, pressing her breast to his shoulder.

One of the blond women took the other hand to suck on his finger while the other silent man with tinted glasses pressed himself on the teal haired man.

“What the fuck is happening?!” one of Roger’s friends hissed.

“Okay!” Heinz pulled away with a laugh, chuckling when the people cheered happily and starting to drag him back to the room they all apparently were in.

“Wait a sec,” Heinz spoke up. He pulled out his car keys and threw it over to his younger brother,” Catch! I think I stay the night here”

Roger and his friends stared in awe his brother being dragged away by happy sexy people to get another round with him.

“What did he do to make them all like this?!” The girl snapped suddenly,” for FREE?!”

“I have no idea…” Roger whispered, shaking his head helplessly.


End file.
